Just had to post these....
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I
may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the
hell alone.
2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
3. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
4. No one is listening until you fart.
5. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
payments.
6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That
way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.
7. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
8. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and
he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was worth it.
10. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.
11. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from
bad judgment.
12. There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither one works.
13. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
14. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night .
may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the
hell alone.
2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
3. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
4. No one is listening until you fart.
5. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
payments.
6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That
way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.
7. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
8. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and
he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was worth it.
10. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.
11. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from
bad judgment.
12. There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither one works.
13. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
14. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night .
3 Comments:
Wise words, missy!
I tell you what else you shouldnt do with Laxatives...
Eat 2 packets of polos (which have warnings on them about their laxative properties on them, although I didn't know that at the time!) At the start of an 2 hour exam, and then suffer like hell for the rest of the exam.
I like # 10. Ha!
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