Spaz!

So, I jumped the gun a bit the other day. It turns out that my life is still the same as it was on Sunday afternoon.

Actually, Monday night was one of the best nights in a long time. Maybe top 3 ever.

I ended up calling him and talking last night when I really have nothing to say and it almost went south again, but I changed subjects and it ended fairly well.

I'm looking forward to St. Patty's day, I'm going to see Sperm for a bit, and hopefully spend the rest of the weekend relaxing and shopping for a new bikini, and some clothes.

Tonight I get a haircut, a much needed one at that.

So, bottom line is I'm ok.

Thanks Hyde, I know you are there for me

Failing is my speciality....

I am drained for words. I am a perfectionist at not allowing myself happiness. I once again single handedly ruined my own success in the search for happiness.

I don't want to go into detail...but let's just say I am not savvy with words and when I'm simply trying to say how I feel about the ones I care the most about it usually comes out a jumbled confusing complicated mess for everyone involved.

Right now I'm back to a shell of a human, if I could get rid of these terrible knots in my stomach and the want to vomit I might have a productive day.

I feel like I'm living someone elses life today.

I hope my nervousness has not destroyed my potential for happiness. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Lesson Learned....Say what you really mean. Live life for YOU and don't care how it will be recieved. Be true you yourself and the rest will be fine. "Sometimes the hardest part is getting things set in motion, not keeping them there"

Living like a Rock Star!

Ok ok, lately I have been spending money like I make millions every day. I recently bought the following.

1. John Mellencamp Tickets - $140
2. Dora the Explorer Tickets - $59
3. Trip to Boston - $ $200
4. Medicines for my daughter $ 129.36
5. Joined the gym - $540
6. Took Parents out to dinner - $114
7. Family Members bdays - $60
8. Hockey tickets - $ 23

So as you can see, I think I can afford this lifestyle. I am using my ENTIRE income tax refund to pay off these expenses and the many other small ones I did not mention. I really need to chill out. I also have 2 vacations coming up in July. I need some spending for them, and I have decided to finally go to college to go for my Associates Degree. So there will be more money in the fall. Yippee!

On the other hand. I am happy happy happy! Making friends and memories is not cheap, but it is a hell of a lot of fun!

Mini Vacation!

Hi all,

I will be going to Boston, leaving today, and returning late afternoon on Sunday. I'm going to be w/ the b/f. It's a 6 hour drive, I'm nervous a little, but it will be an adventure. I need to get moving though, if I'm going to get there on before dark.

I miss blogging, but I have nothing really to say.

I'm doing well with going to the gym. I go 3 days a week. It's good for me. I also decided that I want to go back to school, get an associates degree. I hope I do. I need to get moving on that, so I can start in the fall.

Life is going by...not much new going on.

I'll post on Sunday so you know I made it home safe....I hope!