Guess What I got today??????

NIN Tickets....That's right Flash...I'm going to see NIN.

The Answer is....

"Not a flugalbinder after all"

What are those things on the end of shoolaces anyway?

ag·let

n.
1) A tag or sheath, as of plastic, on the end of a lace, cord, or ribbon to facilitate its passing through eyelet holes.

2) A similar device used for an ornament.


I'm such a dork. I was always told/taught that the little plastic tip of a shoelace is called a flugalbinder. Apparently I'm not the only one.

Fun fact of the year!

Some things.....just this once

Alright, I know what I said, but here I am anyway.

Some time has passed and I haven't missed blogging....*wink*.....but I have issues. More like rants in random order about no one or nothing in particular. Just things that I think of from time to time that may or may not bother me.

Honesty....Why is it that people have a hard time being honest?

Feelings....Why is it that people have a hard time expressing their feelings to family or friends or people of the opposite sex...or same sex...if your into that kind of thing.

Lying...Why lie? I'm sure I do it, white ones, but why? What is the big deal. Obviously if you have to lie about something your conscience thinks it was a bad thing. Fuck the conscience, that's what I've begun to do.

Cheating....Why oh why do people do it, it is risky, scary and crazy. Does it give the cheater a rush? A thrill? Think people. Think. Someone is going to get hurt.

Ok, pop quiz.....

Do you know what the "fluggalbinder" (spelling does not count) is? Or where it belongs?

I'm done, I'm sure I won't let this blog die forever, but it will no longer contain any of my lifes events. Just simple babbling like I just did. I feel better now.

Thanks for not abandoning me : )

Blog Has been compromised

I have been mentally agonizing over the last few days what to do about this blog. Today my identity was compromised on Flash's blog.

It's ok Flash, I'm not upset about it.

Problem with me is that I've always been paranoid about having this blog anyway. That is evident by the fact that I have deleted this thing 2 times in the past. No. I'm not going to delete what is currently here, but I'm not going to add to it anymore either.

It seems that I am going in a cycle in my life. I think it's time to close this chapter and move on. Let's face it, I don't write for me anymore and that defeats the purpose. I can't and haven't been completely honest here because I know some of the readers on a more personal basis and I want to maintain some kind of dignity and descretion.

I'm a fraud.

I'm not really who I perceive to be in this blog. I need an identity check. On top of the reality one.

A long time ago I use to believe that if you just were yourself that everything would work out in the end. I hope I was right otherwise I'm going to be left very alone in this world.

Thanks for all the support given to me here in my comments section. But I can't play along with this charade anymore.

Yes.....I won't be too far. Yes.....I will still comment on other blogs.

The last year has been an evolution for me. The last year has made me stronger in a lot of ways, but in a huge way it has broken me down.

I don't want to play along with the game anymore.

I want out.

I'm taking that much needed space.

I'm hiding, that might be a better way of stating it.

So goodbye fellow bloggers. I only wish I knew who all my readers were. It would be nice if I got a comment from those silent readers...even if anonymous.

Carpe Diem

ooooooooo

Stronger Day By Day.....

I've been using the last couple of days to re-process my life. What I discovered is that I'm too much of a push over. So from now on I'm going to start playing by my rules. I'm sick and tired of feeling guilty for things I shouldn't feel guilty over. If you know me at all, you would know I am pretty much as innocent as they come. Granted, I have a few fleeting moments of lunacy, but more calm than not.

Point being. I hate pissy people. I hate being in the middle of issues I shouldn't be in the middle of.

I like that the only rules I need to play by are the ones I set for myself. I won't have guilt then.

Without knowing specifics I know it's hard to follow what I writing here, but it makes sense to me.

Also, I'm sick of people writing to others in a blog. Write it for yourselves. Unless you are selling something.

I need to begin to do that. When I began a blog over a year ago. I was writing it for one person....ME.

I know now that I have a small audience (perhaps large, with no commenters)and sometimes I write for them. Not anymore. If I have nothing of value to write in here for me, than I will not write.

I may not be commenting either for a while.

I need my space......

Roses are Red....I seem Blue

Sorry it's been so long. I was on the second leg of my summer tour. I was in SC for 4 days. I would tell you how it went but it's really not worth mentioning. Let's just leave it at I'm glad to be home.

Honestly, nothing exciting is going on. Pretty Mundane. When something exciting happens, I'll be sure to talk about it.

This post was merely for updating purposes so you all didn't think I fell off the face of the earth.

My Pallet....

This is going to be scatter-brained. I have way too many thoughts in my head. Let me start with the biggest one. Lonliness. I don't have a fear of being alone, obviously, I left my husband, more that I hate to be lonely. I tend to have the need to surround myself with others. This will in turn cause me possibly to push them away. Though I'm told if I'm just myself and someone walks away from me, it was them with the problem and not me, but if I push myself on them, then I will push them away. Hope that made sense, I know what I mean.

Secondly, I live in fear. A huge mistake. One of my biggest obstacles that I need to overcome. I NEED to start taking control over MY life. Not do what is expected of me, or what I think is expected of me, rather live my life making my own choices and deal with the consequences as they come.

This entire week I was on vacation is nearing an end. The entire week was non-stop action, never a dull moment and never any down time, only to sleep. I loved it. Not having to be anywhere at any given time. Never having to set an alarm.

I'm healing, from head to toe.

Lesson Learned......I'm a junkfood-aholic. (No relevance to this post, just a fun fact)

The Trip...

We ( Mmmmm and myself) left on Monday morning around 11 am in the direction of Sandusky Ohio. Home of the most awesome amusement park EVER.

We made excellent time and got there about 5:30. Would have been sooner, but I made one slight wrong turn. Only about a 15 minute set back.

We then headed to the park. It was awesome, it wasn't too crowded. We headed for Top Thrill Dragster, the most popular and the most exhilarating ride in the park. We only waited an hour which was not bad at all, people in line had told us that they have seen the wait as long as 4 hours. It's awesome, but not that awesome. HEHEHE. There was a firework show that I had wanted to see at 10 pm and we could see most of it, we were in a ride line for the first half of it. I don't remember how late we were at the park. I know we ended the night with an awesome root beer float. I think we got back "home" to the hotel around 1:30 am. We watched some TV and dozed off shortly after.

Tuesday when we woke up it was raining....YUK...we went to a visitors bureau to find out what we could do in the rain. We were going to see a movie. We ate first then realized we were tired, so back to the hotel we went and slept for 3 hours. When we woke up it was a beautiful day and so we headed to the park. It was around 5 pm. It was pretty dead at the park. We walked right onto most of the rides, except for the big ones. We ended the night by going on MaXAir. You really need to go to Cedar Point's website to fully get what it is. The park closed at 11, we were lucky enough again to get a root beer float before we exited the park. Yes! Delicious!!! We got back to the hotel room and flipped thru the channels again. It was late again, maybe 2 am ish before we dozed off.

Wednesday we got up relatively early. I was starving, so we decided to go for breakfast. After that we went to this mini golf place on my word. Well it was a dump and we ended up wasting $40 and 2 hours of our lives. Still sorry about that one Mmmmm. We left there around 12:30 and headed to the park. Whoa. It was packed, I mean packed. All of the rides even the crap ones were atleast and hour and a half. We walked around for a bit, got more ice cream and headed back to the hotel. We hung out in the room until around 6 pm and went back to the park. It was still pretty crowded, but bearable. We were so glad that we were able to get on all the rides we really wanted to the other two days, because that night we only go on about 5 rides. We did however shopped until we dropped. It was just nice there, no time limit on how long you could stay there, no one pushing you out. The park closed at 11 on Wednesday, we didn't walk out of there until midnight. We got back to the room and watched the last 20 minutes or so of Collateral. Then The Girl Next store came on. That was over at 3 am. Then, and I don't even know how it started, I'm sure it was me, but Mmmmm and I got in a tiff and he went for a walk, he came back at 4:30. I couldn't really fall back to sleep. Then I wanted to get up early because I wanted to take Mmmmm to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I thought it was a good idea. Turned out not to be. I was there years ago and I really enjoyed it. This time they had it all different and it was a flop in my opinion. I just wanted him to get to experience it and we were only an hour away, would have seemed a waste if we wouldn't have gone. Sorry about that too. I make bad choices sometimes...sometimes : )

All in all it was an awesome trip. We were not on any kind of schedule, we didn't disagree or bicker too much. We talked out some of our past issues. It was a bonding experience for us. It is really nice to have someone just to kick around with. He is a lot of fun, as am I !!!

I would recommend Cedar Point to everyone and I would take another vacation with Mmmmm.

Lesson Learned.....Collies smell good.

I'm back!

It's early, I'm tired. I just spent the last hour catching up on the blogs that I read. Whoa. I missed a lot in your lives.

Glad that everyone is well.

I'm heading back to bed. I will find the strength and the time to update you later today on the first of my two vacations.

On Vacation

Hi,

I am just dropping by to let you know that I am on vacation. I will be returning on Thursday at some point in the day.

Fun, sun, rides! Hopefully I don't puke : (

Full details when I return and also some things I may have been neglecting to share with you all.

Have a safe holiday!!!

Don't blog too much, because I will have to catch up on 4 days.

BYE

A Long Week....

I don't know why but I have not blogged for almost a week. I didn't even miss it. I have either been too busy or too tired to sit here and compile my thoughts.

I just don't feel like sharing my life with anyone at this moment. I have done some shitty things over the past couple of weeks. Not that I feel that terrible about my actions, but I feel shitty for the way they have made other people feel. I don't like anyone looking at me any differently. I'm just struggling to find my groove. So I dabbled...a little bit.

Last Friday I went out with some friends. Saturday I spent the day with Mmmmm at an amusement park. Sunday was my birthday, Mmmmm spent half of the day with me making me a Tandy Cake so that I could take it into work and share w/ my friends.

Monday and Tuesday remain a blur. Wed, Thurs and today I had to be at work at 7 am. At night I am extremely tired. I fell asleep on the couch at 7 on Thursday. I don't like to not have any energy. It would help if I ate.

I found out on Tuesday that my co worker is pregnant. Great! She will now be out when it is the busiest time of the year for us. So that means I will be working a million extra hours and not getting paid for them. I need a change of pace. I'm fading into non existance in that hell hole.

I will once again be away from the blog for a while. Mmmmm and I leave for vacation on Monday until Thursday. Friday will be relax and laundry day. Blog catch up day too. Saturday I have plans to go see fireworks with a friend of mine I haven't seen in a while.

I'm getting ahead here, but Tard will be in town next week from Thurs to Wed so I hope to see her too. Not to mention when she leaves, I LEAVE WITH HER for stretch 2 of my summer vacations.

I'm trying to keep busy, but when I do it seems to lead me into tempatation and trouble, so I force myself to sleep and keep busy in other ways. I know that barely made sense, but I know what I mean : )